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Generally speaking, witches’ parties are no fly-by-night things.

1. Never insult a witch at the party, no matter what she says; you could be turned into a frog.
2. (Number 1 leads to this one) Don’t eat the frog legs – you might be eating someone you know.
3. Skip the punchbowl, unless you like eye of newt or bat wings, etc.
4. If some witch asks how you clean your kitchen floor, say a mop or vacuum. Brooms are a no-no since they are touchy about anyone using their travel mode for such menial labor. Think of a BMV mopping the floor.
5. Avoid any witch discussing magic spells with a twitching nose or one with a cold who sneezes – who knows, you might end up in Hades or Timbuktu.

1.  Dress up as a tree for Halloween or a fire hydrant

2.  Give him your cheek to kiss, he might take out your neck

3.  Necking is definitely out

4.  Throw a stick  (makes them mad-insults their dignity)

5.  Invite them in on your white carpet on a rainy day

6.  If they try to hump your leg-well, let them

The Reluctant Miss Van Helsing at Boroughs Publishing.

Miss Frankenstein is LIVE on Boroughs Publishing,  Smashwords, Amazon and All Romance eBooks. Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Apple and Diesel come on line within a week.  

This is a an action, fun-filled romp through Regency England with Clair Frankenstein and an odd-ball, scary and historical array of characters.  This won Best Historical Vampire Novel by RT.   It was also nominated for Best First Novel.

“The rumors of my being undead have been greatly exaggerated,” Ian stated formally, his green eyes glinting with mischief.

“It’s impossible,” Clair said, clasping a hand to her breast. “You are not a vampire!” Stunned, she stared at Baron Huntsley, who stood in her morning room alive and well and certainly not bursting into flames. Not even one ash was upon the fool man. Didn’t he know the rules of vampiredom? A vampire burned to a crisp in broad daylight.

“When my butler, Brooks, announced you, I thought he had misheard,” she said to herself. Drat the blasted reprobate. She fumed, feeling like her friend Alice, who had fallen in a rabbit hole, at the Angleton picnic. How was the impossible possible? She was hallucinating, perhaps due to burning the midnight oil once too often.

 

 

1.  The Grinch will steal the roast beast  and if he doesn’t, Max will

2.  The crystal glasses might get smashed when Horton starts hearing voices and goes on a rampage

3.  You must NOT serve fish…..why, you may ask?  One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish….it would be so Hannibal Lector

4.  Don’t invite Sam I am, unless you want to be known for serving a lot of green things

Charleston Oregon

Charleston Oregon

For the cooler summers of the Oregon Coast. We are over a 100 today in hell, also know as South Texas

She ran through the large pines and aspen which towered above her, casting eerie shadows upon the winter earth.  She had not traveled far when she spotted her unsuspecting victim.  The ominous form stealthily approached, striking with a vengeance which would have sickened any human soul.  Flesh and veins were torn from the victim’s soft white throat as the dark, warm blood splattered the albino”s fur.

SLowly, she threw back her head and howled, the cry echoing throughout the ancient forest.  A light grey mist formed on the ground spreading upward as the cry had, haunting and sad.  No other sound, except the wailing of the wind, answered her call.  As long as she could remember, it had been that way.

Far below the ridge, beneath the Mountain of Spirits, they heard the cry in the town below.  People hurried home under the dimly lit streetlight, bolting their doors.  Some of them reached for crosses or their family BIbles, but all of them were deathly afraid.  She had come back!